De como dizer adeus, ou, Essa é sua vida, Leonor

Cena da terceira temporada de Gilmore Girls. Ou, cena muito parecida com uma que eu protagonizei (proto-agonizei) há pouco mais de um mês...



E como eu sou boazinha, vai aí a transcrição do diálogo pra quem não entende só ouvindo:

LORELAI: Gotcha.

MAX: You sure did.

LORELAI: Bad time?

MAX: Kind of.

[she walks in]

LORELAI: Busy?

MAX: Real busy.

LORELAI: You're avoiding me.

MAX: No, I'm not.

LORELAI: Then what's with the 'I'm busy' thing?

MAX: I can't be busy?

LORELAI: Ah, but that's avoiding me, saying you're busy.

MAX: No, it's descriptive of my current state. These essays are due back tomorrow, I'm way behind on my reading, so I'm eating my day-old vending machine at my desk in my futile attempt to try and catch up.

LORELAI: Two rotations.

MAX: What?

LORELAI: It's in the Booster Club bylaws, my friend. I looked it up myself. Faculty advisors are supposed to do a minimum of two consecutive rotations with the Booster Club and you did only one.

MAX: I did three.

LORELAI: What?

MAX: I did three. You went to my third one. I did the previous two you weren't at.

LORELAI: I'm assuming you have documentation?

MAX: Lorelai.

LORELAI: With Lorelai Gilmore, it's trust but verify.

MAX: Well, I'm sure I can scrounge up a witness.

LORELAI: Why did you treat me so weird at that last meeting?

MAX: I treated you with respect and kindness.

LORELAI: That's why it was weird. It's how you treated Terry and Joan, too. I mean, did you also kiss Terry and Joan?

MAX: Yeah, I did. And Doug. He was the best of the three.

LORELAI: Max.

MAX: I was playing it cool. You were, too. I was just following suit.

LORELAI: No, I was playing it cool because you were playing it cool. And I'm the treasurer and the treasurer has to be cool or it just looks suspicious.

MAX: Wait, wait, wait. Ten feet.

LORELAI: Ten feet?

MAX: That's a safe distance for us, and the more furniture in between, the better.

LORELAI: I'm not gonna attack you.

MAX: I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about me. I mean, there are people still walking the halls and this is my workplace and I can't be held responsible for what I do around you. I mean, you are like a - like a - like a mythological creature that casts some kind of spell on me and makes me act stupid. I'm not stupid. I don't act stupid with anyone else. Uh, we're too close again.

LORELAI: Okay, I didn't bring a frickin' tape measure. I'm not good at judging distances. You'll have to help me out with the ten feet thing.

MAX: Well, it's a little bigger than a basketball player. Just keep a really big basketball player between us.

LORELAI: Wow, I bet there's a sentence that's never been uttered before.

MAX: There are other complications with this whole thing, you know. Just thought I'd tell you.

LORELAI: What other complications?

MAX: I was seeing someone in California. There, I said it.

LORELAI: You mean, you weren't living like a Trappist monk while you were in California? I'm shocked.

MAX: That doesn't bother you?

LORELAI: Max, we weren't together. I mean, I have been seeing someone, too.

MAX: Well, I would probably still be seeing Diane if I hadn't moved back here. That's something to think about.

LORELAI: So you can't date anyone for the rest of your life because if you'd stayed in California, which you didn't, you might still be dating Diane?

MAX: Yes. No. Ugh!

LORELAI: Do you want an aspirin? I probably have a. . .Tic Tac. Sorry, I shouldn't have teased you with that aspirin thing.

MAX: You know, I thought we were both going to just pretend to ignore the kiss. Wasn't that the deal?

LORELAI: We had a deal? I don't remember a deal.

MAX: You had your shot, okay? You had the ring and you said no.

LORELAI: Yes, I did. And you said that that was right for you, too. You went to Stanford, you dated Diane, it was right for both of us.

MAX: Well, what is this, now, right here?

LORELAI: It's us. Tada.

MAX: Well, us needs to stay apart.

LORELAI: Oh, Max, we had a whole country between us for a year. That's like eleven-thousand basketball players lying end to end, and yet, here we are. We can't avoid each other.

MAX: I thought I was over you. I thought it was safe to come back here, but no, not the deal. I just, I think we should stay apart and never see each other ever again.

LORELAI: That's impossible.

MAX: No, it's not.

LORELAI: Well, I'll be at the Chilton graduation and so will you.

MAX: Well, I'll sit behind a tree.

LORELAI: We could run into each other at a drugstore again.

MAX: Well, I'm gonna order all my drugs online.

LORELAI: If my car breaks down next to yours, will you stop?

MAX: I will stop, and keep my eyes straight forward, call a garage and then stay in my car with the radio on really loud 'til they come, and then I'm gone. And I say we start being apart right now.

LORELAI: Okay. Whatever you want.

MAX: This is what I want. And when I walk out that door, it could very well be the last time we see each other.

LORELAI: Okay. I'll abide by your wishes.

MAX: Goodbye, Lorelai.

LORELAI: Goodbye, Max.

[Max leaves the classroom and walks down the hall. As he walks by the other door from the classroom, Lorelai walks out and bumps into him.]

LORELAI: You said you were leaving.

MAX: My car is that way.

LORELAI: Well, I have to go that way, too.

MAX: After you.

LORELAI: Two seconds, we've already run into each other.

MAX: Doesn't count.

Qualquer semelhança com o que eu tenho vivido, meus caros, não pode ser só mera coincidência...